Scared and Worried

As always lots of things on my mind, but guess this blog will be mainly (if not exclusively) about my weight loss surgery.  I got a call from Centennial today, my insurance has approved my surgery.  They transferred me to the surgeon's office and I have my consult with him set for Jan 8th.  But to be honest, last little bit I've been scared about having the surgery. I've been reading the book the dietitian gave me and I'm worried about the diet.  Not so much that I will want other foods, but making sure I buy the right stuff, that I will make some sort of mistake. Right up until the call today, I had almost talked myself out of it.  Even kind of hoping that maybe it would be denied.  Of course the alternative would be for things to remain as they are, and that isn't good either.  I weighed myself at the hospital a week or so ago and I had gained 15 pounds or so above what had been my max weight for a couple of years.  Guess I just feel alone in this, I have some friends and family, but other than my 17 year old son, no one in the house with me.  It just seems like such ominous task ahead and I worry if I am up to it. I guess there is no particular rush, the approval is good for at least 3 months I think, I'm still feeling a bit rushed though.  The surgeon's office said for me to bring my schedule with me and we could more than likely go ahead and schedule the surgery.  I know many people are probably in a hurry to get it done as soon as they can and I guess a couple of weeks ago, maybe I was too.  I guess at maybe its simplest point....it's a change and I've always been a bit scared of change, especially if facing it alone.  There is a support group in Jackson, but when I went earlier this month, the only other person there besides me was the group leader.  We had a good talk and he was very informative and helpful, but it doesn't help relieve my dealing-with-it-alone feeling.  I'm hoping that maybe some others will be at the next meeting.

I feel so tired all the time... Yes, some physically and yes a lot of that from my weight, but mainly emotionally and mentally as well. Started to type something a couple of times and just backspaced it away....just don't feel like talking about any of it now.

Be well
Steve
http://about.me/stevefall